Everywhere I turn these days I’m seeing and hearing discussion about being overwhelmed. Too much input, too many choices, too much to do . . etc. etc. This is true in the homeschooling community, the church community, the workplace. The level of stress I’m sensing in those I talk with is higher than ever. Why is that?
I believe much of our stress comes from too much input, too much noise, too many choices. We have more information coming into our homes, our lives, our minds than ever before. And it comes in at an alarming rate. Instant access, instant meals, instant everything. And it all comes to us already processed! We don’t have to think for ourselves, we just soak it up.
Let me throw a novel idea out to you – taking information in s-l-o-w-l-y might actually be better for us. Choosing fewer activities away from home might actually give us freedom to enjoy the activities that rejuvinate us. The latest, newest, bigger, brighter whatever-it-is screams out promising your life will be better, but will it? I predict it will set you up to start looking for the next bigger and brighter thing on the block as soon as the newness wears off. No wonder we all find ourselves discontent.
As a young homeschool mom I spent years fretting and stressing over whether I was doing a good enough job raising and educating my children. I saw others I thought were doing a better job, buying better curriculum, using a better method. Then, before I knew it, our oldest children were grown and beginning to leave the nest. I began to realize the fretting and stressing didn’t really help. I would have enjoyed those younger years so much more. (I shared more on this topic at Raising Arrows recently – you can read my guest post and Amy’s whole series on Homeschool Information Overload HERE)
What do we do in this noisy, busy world so we can hear what is really real and really helpful and really true?
- Take time to list out your own goals and priorities, not someone else’s, not what you read in a book. Include your family in setting these goals, you might be surprised at the insights your children have.
- Take time to unplug. Just because others are out there ready to tell you how and when and why, doesn’t mean you have to listen.
- If something is working, be content. Just because someone has published a new program doesn’t mean you have to buy it.
- Relax. Light a candle or diffuse essential oils. They do an amazing job of changing the mood in your home. Today I have Stress-Away and Thieves in our diffuser, setting the stage for a positive and relaxing day. Makes the house smell good too!
- Draw near to Jesus. He came to bring us peace. If you aren’t peaceful in your soul He can bring it to you. Hearing His voice will fight away the other voices that seem to speak so loudly.
- Be still. Leave the stereo and television off during certain hours each day. Stay home and eat a meal together, play a game together, create something together. Follow my friend Alisa’s example of trimming down daily requirements for a time.
- Be courageous and choose NOT to go along with what everyone else is doing and saying.
Will you join me in making a conscious choice about what information makes its way into our homes, our lives, our families? How do you handle this loud, noisy world of instant everything?
Linda, you really hit home with me here. When I first started home schooling I received a lot of flack and mostly from family. I found myself defending my decision by telling all the bad things that happens in schools and getting nowhere with them or myself. I finally did as you suggested and wrote down my goals and a mission statement as to why I wanted to home school. I discovered it was not about what I was keeping the children from, but what I wanted to give them that they would not get at a public school. The funny thing is, after I wrote it down and solidified my reasons in my own mind and heart, I “misplaced” the notebook I wrote it in. That was almost ten years ago and I haven’t found the notebook since, but I also have never again felt the need to defend my choice to anyone either. I know this is what I want for my family and so there is not another option.
Clarifying what I did want for my children has also made it much easier to not get bogged down with the information overload. No TV or internet during the elementary years (just mom-approved movies for a treat or reward) made us all content without them. During middle school, the internet has opened doors for instruction and research, but with passwords, filters, and only supervised access, it is a useful tool and not an antidote for boredom to consume our days. No handheld video games, tablets, or smart phones means we pick up a book during waiting or free time or play a game together. Unless we are doing chores or school work, daylight hours are spent outdoors getting our vitamin-D, weather permitting. Lunch and schoolwork at the picnic table makes for a much happier family too!
Bring-a-dish Friday nights with other home school families and board games after supper are a big hit with the kids and adults alike. But games aren’t always necessary, because just singing hymns together is sometimes an even better time of fellowship. Tuesday nights out (or in!) with Mom or Dad alone, gives each kid some one-on-one time that means building relationships that will last a lifetime and helps us to know what makes each of them tick. I may be describing “noisy” times, but for us, the key to not being overwhelmed with the outside world, is to only invite into our world what we can handle.
This last semester of middle school, I decided to discontinue all outside scheduled activities during the day so that I could concentrate on being the “keeper of the home” that I want to be. Helping the children to become proficient at keeping house has become a top priority as they mature into responsible teens getting ready to enter the workforce. (And hopefully will be a great blessing to their spouse someday as well!) Letting them take more of the household responsibilities off of me, means we all get our work done in the mornings and then have the afternoons and evenings to tackle projects that bring us joy, learn a new skill, or spend time serving others. Exercising together helps our health and our moods, whether it is going to the gym or a park, a bike ride in the neighborhood, a hula hoop contest, or just dancing to the classics in the living room. Having fun together on our own schedule instead of following someone else’s allows us to be more content and peaceful with each other. And yes, we have supper together every evening with conversation and thankfulness in prayer, but no TV or radio, and as little microwave cooking as possible. Instant is not always better!
My “babies” are growing up so quickly and I keep thinking ahead to when I will have that empty nest. I am trying to make every moment count while I still have them and so when there is something that would keep us too busy to connect with each other; I simply remind myself that it can wait. In a few more years I will have plenty of free time on my hands to take on community projects or learn how to text on a smart phone. Now is the time to talk face to face with my children and see the men and women they are growing up to be, so that I will still know them when they are grown. Those moments when the house is quiet and my husband and I are sitting in our recliners each reading or doing our own thing and he looks over at me and smiles and winks, make me know that an empty nest will have its own perks as well. Who needs noise when love and joy and peace reigns? Why don’t we let the only noise we hear, be our own baby birds peeping to be fed and let our conversation and fellowship be the food that nourishes their soul? They will get enough of the world’s noise once they leave the nest. May the example we set for our children help them to filter out the noisemakers of this world and tune in to their own joyful song!
God bless you Linda for reminding me again what is truly important and where my priorities should be. Thank-you!
Hello, Anne! I am so glad you stopped by for a visit this weekend and that my words 🙂 Thank you so much for taking time to share your thoughts and your heart with us. I can relate to your comment about writing your goals down and then losing the notebook – it’s happened to me, but what I’ve found is the process of physically writing out my thoughts ideas and goals is a kind of therapy, and it helps solidify it in my mind and I often never have to even go back and read it. I’m happy to hear that you persevered even when others doubted you and how wonderful to hear how God has blessed that commitment.
I know full well the ‘noise’ we all have WITHIN our homes, and it’s the outside ‘noise’ we must be so very careful of. We also regulate technology closely, with passwords and filters and keeping computers and electronics in public areas of our home. It keeps us all accountable. I am one who is slow to take on the newest technologies. Just because they are available does not mean we MUST buy into them. I’ve found they usually make life more complicated and bring more distraction from the things I hold most dear. It’s ok with me if I don’t have instant messages and constant contact 24/7.
I love what you said about building relationships that will last a lifetime – that’s exactly the goal I had when we began our homeschooling journey. There have been times when that has been easier, and times when it’s been challenging, but oh so worth the effort! I pray you enjoy these years your nest is full and that God continues to bless your and your fledglings prepare to leave the nest. Every stage brings blessings if we’ll just watch for them and choose they joy of it.
Have a wonderful week with your family, I pray you’ll not have too much noise 😉
That Bible verse you concluded with – let your conduct be without covetousness – so often we think of that in terms of material stuff, but it can also cover a ‘standard’ we covet. Something to ponder. Thanks.
You are exactly right, Belinda. The Deceiver has convinced us that it’s the material stuff we shouldn’t covet but no need to be concerned about the unseen things we are coveting! It is so easy to become discontent with the life God has given me because I am so busy looking to what others appear to have. So glad you stopped by today, Blessings!
I don’t have anything to add, but I wanted to hop over and say that I love these tips! Practical, useful, and most definitely helpful. 🙂
I’m so glad you hopped over, Caroline! Thank you for your sweet comment – together, with God’s help, we’ll win this battle over Mommy Guilt and the noisy outside world 🙂 have a wonderful day!
Two things help me calm the noise. One is going unplugged. This means not reading every blog post, or comparing myself to other moms using the same curriculum as me. It also means turning the phone on silent or even off some days!
The second is realizing that I have to do what works for MY family. That is going to be different from other people, and that is okay. It took me at least 2 years of homeschooling to come to and accept that realization.
Thank you, Misty, for sharing. This is exactly what we need hear. I need reminders like this from time to time. I pray you are having a blessedly “quiet” week this week!
This is so true Linda and can be so overwhelming! We have scaled things down in our home and can still scale further I believe. Thank you for this encouragement! Before we know it, our children will be grown and gone and I think our heads will still be spinning if we don’t change now. Thank you for sharing this on the Art of Home-Making Mondays! I will be pinning this 🙂