Have you embraced your imperfections in No More Perfect Moms book study? Are you closer to being a truly Authentic Mom? It’s been so freeing to be reminded that accepting my not-so-perfect self is actually a good thing, necessary thing. Only two chapters left! Let’s see what there is to learn in chapter nine.
No More Perfect Moms – Chapter 9 – No More Perfect Homemaking
Comparison and negative self-talk are our enemies when it comes to being an Authentic Mom. In Chapter 9 of No More Perfect Moms, Jill Savage takes a real life look at how we can deal with imperfections in our homemaking. Are you comparing yourself with those television cooking shows or your friend who has that creative decorating gene? Do you feel like a failure when it comes to hospitality?
Here are some ideas to help you ease up the stress of homemaking and hospitality, along with quotes from Jill Savage in chapter 9 of No More Perfect Moms:
Meals – Sit down and list out what works in your household and what doesn’t. “Let’s figure out what’s best for us and for our families, set our families in place, and enjoy our imperfect but beautiful meals together as often as possible.”
- Share the responsibility – let family members help plan the menu or even take turns fixing the meals.
- Cook up extra and freeze for quick meals on busy days
- use your crockpot and the timer on the oven
Decorating – Don’t beat yourself up by comparing your lack of decorating skills with your fabulously talented friend. Use what others are doing as inspiration, ask for tips for freshening up your own rooms, seek advice and help from those who have the talent and experience. If you are “not much of a creative thinker when it comes to decorating . . . [you] can ‘borrow’ a great idea any day! . . . realize that God’s given the gift of decorating creatively so they can share it with [you]!”
Hospitality – Whether it is a large holiday gathering or a group of your child’s friends coming home after school we often build up our expectations unrealistically, we set ourselves up for failure and never get to fully enjoy the event. We talk ourselves out of the opportunity for hospitality because we fear we don’t measure up. We forget that “hospitality is our opportunity to be Jesus to those around us. “Maybe we don’t want to change up our routine, or maybe we fear too much what others will think of us, our cooking, or our housekeeping.”
Think about this – there could be a bit of selfishness underlying all these excuses. The author shares something she learned from another writer, Karen Ehman, who says we hospitality is not so much about entertaining as it is about meeting the needs of our guests, taking the focus off of us and putting it on our guests.
Change your expectations and apply The Antidote to fight this Perfection Infection. Get real, if you are soothing a colicky baby or providing taxi service for after school activities you don’t have to be fixing gourmet meals every night. If you have a house full of small children or a small monthly budget you don’t have to splurge on high cost decorating. If you live in a tiny apartment, invite friends for coffee rather than a 3 course meal.
- Progress from fear to courage. What have you been wanting to try or change? Ask a friend to help you make a small step in that direction. Each step forward will build courage to take the next step and to give to those around you.
- Progress from insecurity to confidence. Remind yourself, often, that we each have strengths and weaknesses. We all have different talents and gifts. We should not be comparing our own real life weaknesses with someone else’s appearance of perfection. Each step you take to move forward will build confidence.
- Progress from judgement to grace. Take control of that negative voice that gives you false messages about yourself and others. Change your tune from ‘Why can’t I . . ?’ to ‘How can I . . .?’ Celebrate the baby steps and make the choice to move forward when you have setbacks.
Embrace your beautiful, imperfect homemaking skills! June Cleaver, Donna Reed, and Claire Huxtable do not exist – there were script writers and set designers and costume people who were paid to create these persona! They are not real! No need to even try to compare ourselves since they don’t even exist – how freeing is that!
Let’s stop in now for a visit with our friends Bridget, Misty and Mandy, as they discuss homemaking in it’s imperfect state.
We’ve been spending time these last two weeks looking at our ‘no more perfect’ status – tomorrow, we will be taking a look at the last chapter: One Perfect God. Please join us! You can find all our No More Perfect Moms discussions HERE.
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