In our study of No More Perfect Moms, we are on a quest to giving our best to our families, and becoming authentic in the process. Let’s get real and continue our study.
No More Perfect Moms – Chapter 8 – No More Perfect Homes
How is everyone doing in their journey to becoming an authentic mom? In Chapter 8 of our book study we are discussing our No More Perfect Homes. If a camera crew showed up at your house right now, what would they see? Kid clutter? Dirty dishes in the kitchen? Laundry piled on the couch? Most of us would say yes to at least one of these, and we’d be in a state of panic if the door bell actually rang.
But, hey! We are not looking for perfection, right? Let’s show ourselves some grace! How can we manage better? Jill Savage shares many helpful and practical tips on dealing with clutter and schedules and making our house a home. She also reminds us that different moms have different standards. That’s ok. Pick your battles. Make peace in your home the way it is right now – great blessings and change will come from it.
“Make peace with the reality that perfection doesn’t exist.”
Change your expectations. Yes, this has been a recurring theme throughout this book. Be realistic when setting your standard. If you have 3 small children under the age of 5, chances are your home will not be kept up as easily as a home where the children are grown. Are you a homeschooling mom of many? You’ll probably have more clutter and lived-in-type messes than the mom who’s family works and schools away from home.
What about income? Living beyond our means just to have what we think makes others happy is not a good thing. All these things, and more, need to be considered when setting our standards and expectations. Do you make your bed every morning? If you don’t, are you embarrassed to admit you don’t? Do you apologize to visitors for the dust, messy kitchen, dirty carpet? These are symptoms of the Perfection Infection. Don’t compare. Evaluate what’s important to you and your family. Don’t let magazine covers and decorating shows determine what’s acceptable and beautiful. That isn’t real life. They are not wrangling a passel-full of children and tackling Mt. Wash-more while slaving over a hot stove to put dinner on the table, all at the same time.
“Whatever you are comfortable with is right for you, even if it is different from other moms you know!”
Applying the Antidote means we will have to change our perspective, not our circumstances. Replace pride with humility – choose to be grateful for what you have rather than focusing on what you wish you had.
Replace insecurity with confidence – start a gratitude journal or make yourself a ‘God Box’ collecting blessings in your life. Read scripture that reminds you of your worth in God’s eyes. (Timothy 4:4, Deuteronomy 31:6 for starters).
Replace judgement with grace – take notice of that small voice in your head telling you that you are a mom-failure because you are not keeping your home up to House-Beautiful standards and remind yourself it is lying!
Instead of beating yourself up, bestow some grace on yourself. Celebrate what you HAVE accomplished, take action to accomplish what you can. Embrace your beautiful, imperfect home! Stop comparing your home to that unrealistic dream home. Instead, imagine your home up next to the bamboo hut belonging to a family in the Philippines or a mud dwelling where a homemaker in Africa cares for her family or concrete walls with no windows or doors that house a family of 10 in some other part of the world. It’s all about perspective, it’s all about expectations and it’s all about attitude.
What’s coming tomorrow? We’ll be looking at our imperfect housekeeping in these beautiful imperfect homes of ours. Be sure to join us!
Click on the image above to see the whole lineup of posts in this series.